Parental Guidance  

            Date: November 09, 1999 10:54 AM
            Author: Michael Williams
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            In addition to the rating of a film (PG, R, NC17, et al), the movies
            give initials that forewarn of the particular type of potentially
            offensive matter that will be on view. AT for Adult Themes, SL for
            Strong Language, etc. Some of these are not totally
            self-explanatory. Someone had to clue me in that BN stands for Brief
            Nudity, for instance.
            This could have application in opera. Much of the Ring would need an
            "I" for incest. "Lulu" would need more letters than the average
            Harvard professor. How about "TH" for "Pagliacci" (Tenor Histrionics
            Any other suggestions?

              Date: November 09, 1999 11:13 AM
              Author: Ben Schuman
              Subject: Parental Guidance

              How about MDS (Melodramatic Death Scene), IPT (Implausible Plot
              Twists), or MAWPT (Middle-Aged Woman Playing Teenager).
              And a special warning for operas longer than 3 hours -- PBN
              (Possible Butt Numbness).

                Date: November 09, 1999 11:27 AM
                Author: Senta *
                Subject: Parental Guidance

                OTHS (over the hill singers).
                Sorry ... I'm feeling bitchy today.

                Date: November 09, 1999 12:55 PM
                Author: warmgoy
                Subject: Parental Guidance

                Well I obsessed all through my shower and now I'm gonna be late
                for work, but I just couldn't stand it anymore.
                SERVING MAID
                WPMWPM-GHM - WOMAN PLAYING MAN who is a WOMAN PLAYING a MAN in
                order to GET HER MAN (confused? I was.)
                And to be fair,

                Date: May 03, 2000 06:26 PM
                Author: Katya
                Subject: Parental Guidance

                Then there's the time I saw Harrison Birtwhistle's "The Last
                Bride of Kong" at Glynbourne. TWBFITWJSPTAM - This would be fun
                if they would just stop playing that awful music. The production
                was quite jolly and wonderful singers such as Philip Langridge
                were doing their best, but musically ... it hurts just to think
                about it.

              Date: November 09, 1999 11:53 AM
              Author: warmgoy
              Subject: Parental Guidance

              I've nothing clever to add to the hilarity above except to say I
              think this thread is an absolute scream!

            Date: November 09, 1999 12:30 PM
            Author: bnatural3
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            I like this one! Some performances need a rating for those times
            when you think a famous singer is making a farewell appearance and
            they pop up again two years later singing in a less demanding
            fach.----FWNG (farewell non-guarantee) CT3: For opera broadcasts in
            which there are 3 or more countertenors in which one must listen
            closely to discern the voices.
            SRSM: soprano role sung by a mezzo.

            Date: November 09, 1999 01:44 PM
            Author: Beverly Sperry
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            GWSLG = Guy Who Sounds Like a Girl (countertenor alert)
            ID = Insomniacs' Delight (Pelleas et Melisande)
            MTSYWB = Music To Slit Your Wrists By (Wozzeck)
            NLABTC = No One Left Alive But The Conductor (Tosca)
            Regards to all,

              Date: May 03, 2000 09:11 AM
              Author: Joan Abel
              Subject: Parental Guidance

              "No one left alive but the conductor"
              And sometimes I wonder about HIM!

            Date: November 09, 1999 06:03 PM
            Author: Ian Michaud
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            I was going to offer SAPBOT-- ' Starving Artist Played By Overweight
            Tenor' and CHOW -- 'Consumptive Heroine (played by) Overweight
            Woman', but I see other posters have already offered variations on
            the theme.
            So, how about:
            TRASH-DUMB -- 'Trendy Rubbish And Staged Hubris - Director Ultimate

            Date: November 09, 1999 08:10 PM
            Author: Don Operatico (riccardo17@hotmail.com)
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            Naturally I couldn't stay out of this one.
            PG: Promotional Gimmick (perhaps this really applies more to record
            R: Roulades
            NC20: No Coloratura: Twentieth Century
            BN: Baritone Nuptials (the baritone gets the girl)
            TAMISAW: Tunes Audience Members Insist on Singing Along With
            BNMTSO: Baroque: No Males To Speak Of
            and the dreaded SOS: Skippy's Operatic Selections

              Date: November 10, 1999 01:45 AM
              Author: george g. topinges  
              Subject: Parental Guidance

              Hi all, LHHCATA - Lucia Hoping Her Cadenzas And Trills Appear.
              TLFAHC - Tenor Looking For A High C. MSWIATP - Mezzo Soprano Who
              Isn't All That Promising. GWTGOA George Waiting To Give Out

            Date: November 10, 1999 01:35 PM
            Author: Ben Schuman
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            I forgot one:
            IAGP - Incomprehensible Avant-Garde Production!
            or the variant:
            YANCOSITF - Yet Another Nineteenth-Century Opera Set in the Fourties
            (or Fifties)

            Date: November 12, 1999 10:12 PM
            Author: Jeff Grove
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            NRBS: Nudity Required By Score
            NABCS: Nudity Added But Complements Score
            GNATCUS: Gratuitous Nudity Added To Counteract Unattractive Score
            SANAUT: Singers Appearing Nude Are Unattractive, Too

              Date: November 13, 1999 10:35 AM
              Author: george g. topinges
              Subject: Parental Guidance

              Hi DonO et al, DonO I surely agree with your TAMISAW. On Miami
              Beach you actually get sing alongs with your solos, not so in
              Miami - go figure. PDAASMC - Please Don't Applaud After Sacred
              Music Concert. ISALAIC - I'm Singing As Loud As I Can. HTMTIDAW -
              Have Tried My Trill It Doesn't Always Work. Geo.

                Date: November 13, 1999 07:28 PM
                Author: Don Operatico (riccardo17@hotmail.com)
                Subject: Parental Guidance

                BMTOCWBNIWFADS: The Background Music To Our Conversation Would
                Be Nice If it Weren't For All the Damn Singing

              Date: May 02, 2000 12:46 AM
              Author: george g. topinges
              Subject: Parental Guidance

              Hello Don O et al, STWITLTLNR Staring Tenor Who Is Too Lazy To
              Learn New Roles. IKMVIGBIRTSSL I Know My Voice Is Gone But I
              Refuse To Start Singing Lieder. - Giorgio

                Date: May 02, 2000 10:13 PM
                Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
                Subject: Parental Guidance

                The former could also be abbreviated P (that was a bit nasty,
                sorry; actually it's just as well since I prefer Ballo to Forza
                anyway). [Forza del Destino had been changed to Ballo in Maschera because
                 Pavarotti could not or would not learn the lead tenor role in Forza.]

            Date: May 02, 2000 07:33 AM
            Author: Christel_Devlin
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            SCRWOSDDNAFA - Soprano covering role wearing other soprano's dress-
            dressmaker not available for alternations

            Date: May 03, 2000 09:07 AM
            Author: Pippo
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            NSRPB: No Subtitles, Read Programme Beforehand
            TLTCAAM: Tenor Liable To Cancel At Any Moment ( variations: SLTCAAM,
            MLTCAAM, BUT not BARITONES OR BASSES for some reason. - oh, forgot
            about Bryn.)
            WWW: Warning: Wagner Work!

              Date: May 05, 2000 11:13 PM
              Author: george g. topinges
              Subject: Parental Guidance

              Dear Pippo, You didn't realize what prophetic initials you were
              uttering. TLTCAAM

            Date: May 03, 2000 09:43 AM
            Author: Ben Schuman
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            Warning! NSR-MRT (Not Standard Rep - May Require Thought!)
            Warning! TLNAGAC (Tonight's Lucia Not As Good As Callas)
            (that one was for Charlie H *grin*)
            Warning! TPPBSADT (Tonight's Performance Produced By Skippy And
            Darth Tenor!) Run away!

              Date: May 03, 2000 11:58 AM
              Author: Odeen
              Subject: Parental Guidance

              SHBGFDSYMAWHSH: Singers Haven't Been Good For Decades So You Might
              As Well Have Stayed Home.
              AOLTEB: Act One Longer Than Entire Boheme. (That would be
              TSOTHHBTETRHN: Tenor Stands On Toes Hoping He'd Be Tall Enough To
              Reach High Note. (That would be Wolfgang Neumann as Siegfried.)
              RDLOC: Recomendation - Drink Lots Of Coffee.
              ICPRYBFTLTSBCCAABIN: If Cell Phone Rings You'll Be Forced To
              Listen To Sarah Brightman, Charlotte Church, And Andrea Boccelli
              In Norma.
              IWBEHHYBSIPB: If Watch Beeps Every Half Hour You'll Be Stuffed
              Into Prompter's Box.
              IYABMSYBTOB: If You Applaud Before Music Stops You'll Be Thrown
              Off Balcony.

            Date: May 03, 2000 10:20 PM
            Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            Soprano Has Wobble The Size Of Mt. Everest But A Goregous Physique
            So Who Cares, Baritone Got Possessed By Skippy, Tenor Not Only Evil
            But Cracker As Well, Production (It's La Boheme, By The Way) Set In
            Nazi Germany, Orchestra Has Only Two Dynamic Variations: Louder and
            Loudest, But Even That Isn't Loud Enough To Drown Out The
            Cell-Phones: In Short This Is The Performance from Hell, Especially
            Since The Gorgeous Soprano Got Relaced By Her Ugly Sister Who Has
            Even Bigger Wobble.

            Date: May 03, 2000 11:06 PM
            Author: Becca
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            IBTGOWTL: Irrelevant Ballet That Goes On Way Too Long

              Date: May 03, 2000 11:09 PM
              Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
              Subject: Parental Guidance

              You'd think Verdi would know better.

                Date: May 04, 2000 06:43 AM
                Author: Christel Devlin
                Subject: Parental Guidance

                WIBGOWTLICSFPS! - Warning - Irrelevant Ballet Gone on Way Too
                Long in COW SUITS, for Pete's Sake!

                  Date: May 04, 2000 09:08 PM
                  Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
                  Subject: Parental Guidance

                  One could just label it Z for Zeffirelli and be done with

                    Date: May 05, 2000 12:37 AM
                    Author: Jennifer Anderson  
                    Subject: Parental Guidance

                    See, now in the MOVIE they weren't in cow suits... they were
                    in tuxedos with just bull heads on their heads.

                      Date: May 05, 2000 08:41 PM
                      Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
                      Subject: Parental Guidance

                      I suppose one could view that as an improvement.

                        Date: May 05, 2000 09:08 PM
                        Author: Becca
                        Subject: Parental Guidance

                        My favorite irrelevant ballet was the one in the Met's
                        last Macbeth production (Verdi again). What were all
                        those Swan Lake ballerinas (in the white tutus) doing
                        with the witches in medieval Scotland?

            Date: May 05, 2000 09:21 PM
            Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            I forget when the ballet comes in Macbeth. Is that when the witches
            are doing their prophecies in the final act? I saw Macbeth at NYCO a
            few years ago, in a really bad production, but don't recall the
            In Massenet's Cid, the ballet begins at just the dramatic moment,
            when Chimène realizes that Rodrigue killed her father. I can't
            imagine a worse or more anti-dramatic time for a ballet ... though
            the ballet, considered simply in itself -- not in relation to the
            opera as a whole -- was fine, with very nice music.

            Date: May 05, 2000 09:39 PM
            Author: Becca Subject: Parental Guidance

            If I recall, the witches make their prophecies (the later ones),
            Macbeth faints, the ballerinas do their dance, then Macbeth wakes

            Date: May 05, 2000 09:55 PM
            Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            My favorite ballet is the one with the hippos and ostriches, by the

            Date: May 05, 2000 11:28 PM
            Author: george  
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            Don O, that is interesting that you mentioned those two particular
            ballets. About 49 years ago in Miami, I went to an early afternoon
            screening of Fantasia. Those two ballet sequences almost got me
            thrown out of the Mayfair Cinema. They broke me up & I was twice
            warned, if I couldn't be quiet, I would be asked to leave.

            Date: May 06, 2000 07:41 AM
            Author: Wendell
            Subject: Parental Guidance
            Macbeth didn't originally have a ballet at all. It was added for the
            Paris production. Verdi also added ballets for Parisian performances
            of Il Trovatore and Otello, just as Wagner did for Tannhäuser. You
            know how those French are about their ballets.

            Date: May 06, 2000 08:15 PM
            Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
            Subject: Parental Guidance

            I read somewhere, I think in Ernest Newman's Stories of the Great
            Operas, that the messieurs of the Jocky Club were in the habit of
            missing the first act or two, not bothering to show up till the
            third act when they couild gawk at their ballerina mistresses. They
            were very miffed at missing the ballet in Tannhäuser, since Wagner
            had put it in Act I.
            I find the practice rather anti-dramatic, myself. i'm interested in
            the characters, their emotions, their actions, not in some spectacle
            interrupting my opera (even if the spectacle itself is good). I want
            singing. How would someone at a ballet feel if the dancers stopped
            dancing and they had to listen to some irrelevant choral thing for
            half an hour? Wouldn't they wonder what the blazes it had to do with
            Swan Lake or the Nutcracker?
            Both Donizetti and Verdi had reservations about French opera, BTW.
            Donizetti complained about the mass spectacle scenes: "I want to
            portray emotions on stage, not battles." I'd have to check Verdi's
            letter to Carvalho, the director of the French opera, but I think it
            was to the effect that the French school involved too much following
            rules and gave genius too little leeway. (This is turning a joke
            thread into a serious one. Sorry.)