Chapter I: Fred and Bozo are Bored

Fred and Bozo Hosanna were bored. Bozo liked it that way, for he
knew that any adventure they ended up having would be even more
appallingly dull than their current meaningless existence. He also
knew that there was something that kept him apart. Was it the clown
makeup? Or the words "I am an elf" that had been found written on
his arm when his foster parents (Fred's real parents) had found him?
Nah, it was probably the clown makeup.

Fred thought adventures would be waaaay kewl, but otherwise had no

One day, a mysterious old man in a robe came to visit them. "I'm a
Druid," he said.

"Cool," said Fred.

"He would be ..." groaned Bozo under his breath.

"You two are the most vitally important people in the world,"
continued the Druid. "You alone can save the world from the evil
that has already almost engulfed it, leaving only seven people free
from its dominion (plus assorted extras, of curse)."

"TODALLY cool," said Fred.

"YRAINW," muttered Bozo.

"I can't tell you more at the moment, for that would violate the
formula, besides perhaps actually preparing you for the horrors you
are about to face," said the Druid. "You'll soon know all too much.
I must leave now, to face my tenure committee. Pack your bags and
get ready to go to the city of the Barves."

With that he left.

chapter ii. bozo is even more bored; fred faints