THE QUEST FOR SAURON'S DIARY
X. This Part Is Scary (They Get It,
A mummy opened the door. "Did
someone call?" it inquired.
"We're in for it now," whined
"Grrrrrrr," said the mummy.
Bozo threw a couple of elfstony
things at it.
"Boo hoo," said the mummy. "I'm
They went inside, and were
instantly attacked by hordes of mummies.
These guys weren't playing around
either; they meant business. They
had been kept there by some magic
hoodoo thingie, in order to
protect Sauron's Diary from the
throngs of people who would otherwise
have gotten ahold of it and used
it for evil purposes, such as basing
appallingly bad TV shows on it.
The mummies attacked
viciously. Anacin screamed; Fred
fainted. Bozo forgot to say
"Abracadabra," said the Druid. The
Waffelon pulled a rabbit out of a
hat. The monsters fled in terror.
The Druid collapsed, but no one
paid much attention, as they were
more concerned with a giant clam
that kept opening and shutting its
mouth. It was in the middle of the
room. It was scary. Within its
maw they saw a book. This was the
last and most terrible guardian of
"Bummer," said Fred.
"Use your sword, silly!" said
Bozo. "This is the bit where you
"Hunh!" said Fred. "I did what you
said last time, and it didn't
"You don't get it, do you?"
snapped Bozo. "Just do it, already!"
"Fine," said Fred, "but I'll haunt
you if I die."
"YR," grunted Bozo.
Fred attacked the clam and killed
it. Bozo lifted the book and
removed it from the monster's maw.
"I love the illustrations," said
"Now it's my turn to do something
stupid and redeem myself," said
Bozo. "HEY, BADGUYS, COME AND GET
Bombador growled, "What purpose do
you two serve, anyway?"
"We're the protagonists," retorted
Bozo. "Deal with it."
A bunch of Nasties attacked.
"Boo!" they said.
"Eek!!!!!" said everyone.
"Whatever," said Bozo, tossing
some elfstone thingummies at the
"Yikes!" said the monsters, and
"Whoah, way kewl," said everyone.
XI. Of Course, He Isn't Actually Dead