THE QUEST FOR SAURON'S DIARY
II.Bozo is Even More Bored; Fred Faints
III. Barves Are Jerks
The girl didn't turn up yet. The
insufferably hearty guy led the
brothers to a Barf village with
some boring name or other. "Ho, ho,
etc.!" he said. "We have to meet
the Barf in a scuzzy bar."
"Cool," said Fred. "But where are
all the women?"
"There aren't any," said Bozo. "If
you ask me, Barves were a bad
idea; but I didn't invent the
They went through some backstreets
till they reached the scuzzy bar.
A bunch of people were killing
each other, but the companions ignored
them and headed for a table where
a sodden Barf was seated alone,
"Ho, ho ..." began Bluff.
"Shut the f**k up," said the Barf.
"Grumpy?" inquired Bozo.
"We need you to go on a ..." the
BHG tried again.
"Screw you losers," said the Barf.
"You be polite, or I'll beat you
up!" yelled Fred.
"Don't bother," said Bozo. "He
can't help it, he's written that way."
"Give me lots of moolah, now,"
said the Barf. "BTW I'm Dork Lumpen."
"We knew that," said Bozo.
"Why should we give you moolah,
you jerk?" asked Fred.
"Ye need me heln," said the Barf.
"Not really," said Bozo. "You're
pretty expendable. But this
chapter's boring the Shades out of
me, so let's get a move on." They
chapter iv. who gets the girl?