THE QUEST FOR SAURON'S DIARY
III. Barves Are Jerks
IV.Who Gets the Girl?
As they travelled, they saw a
beautiful woman weeping.
"She has nice breasts," said Fred.
"You're not supposed to say that,"
chided Bozo. "This is fantasy,
not soft porn."
"I'm having a fantasy right now,"
"Don't be an idiot," said Bozo.
"You hurt my feelings," said Fred.
"Sorry," said Bozo. "This is where
I act sympathetic and we bond and
"I love you," said Fred.
"Yeah, yeah, but I'm more
interested in the girl just now," said
Bozo. "I've decided I probably do
get her, after all. You see, I'm
the descendant of ... well, never
mind, I'm probably not supposed to
know that yet."
"What about ME," said Fred. "I
want to get a girl, too!"
"You probably will. Your father is
probably king, after all."
"I forgot that."
"Shut up, you idiots," said the
Barf. Fred trasked him.
They went up to the girl. I'd say,
"came up," but someone might take
it the wrong way. "Boo hoo hoo,"
she said. "A lot of boring
political intrigue but the long
and short of it is that they're
trying to force me to marry some
ugly old evil guy for political
"Never mind the details," said
Bozo. "Let's move on to the
love interest part."
"I don't care about that, I'm too
innocent and stuff," said the
"YR," said Bozo.
They killed all the badguys. Bozo
and the girl didn't have sex, but
she joined their party. At
night-time, while the others were asleep,
they continued not to have sex.
V. Gnorcs and Nasties