THE QUEST FOR SAURON'S DIARY
IV.Who Gets the Girl?
V. Gnorcs and Nasties
They saw a bevy of nasty,
scuzzy-looking little dark people.
"I'm scared," said the girl. These
people look evil!"
"They are," said Fred. "All
racially-inferior looking people are
"Yes," agreed Bozo. "But don't
worry; they're just minions. They're
essentailly an imitiation of Orcs.
Not a very good imitation,
though. They'll all get killed."
"You're so brave!" said the girl.
BTW, her name was Lovelinda, if it
matter, which it probably doesn't.
"Whatever," said Bozo.
"Ho, ho, ho!" said Bluff. "It's
been twenty minutes since we had a
fight! Yo ho, me hearties!"
"Just go out there and get it over
with," said Bozo. "Prowess is you
only redeeming characteristic as
far as I'm concerned."
"Ho ho! Why grump'st thou,
friend?" said the hearty.
"Just because I'm in a stupid
story, doesn't mean I have to like it,"
Fred looked in marvel at Bluff's
swordplay. "I wish I could be like
"You will," said Bozo, "but you
won't have as much personality.
Which is actually probably a good
Suddenly, a Nasty attacked them
from behind. Bozo didn't have time
to throw anything, but Fred drew
his sword and killed the cheap ugly
computer simulation -- I mean, the
"How did I do that?" he wondered.
"Of course your sword's magic,
stupid," said Bozo.
Meanwhile, the Barf was taciturn,
which was just as well..
VI.They Learn Stuff