BABY SAURON'S DIARY
Aeon 1: Well, we just did the Ainulindale. It was fun. They all say I
have a nice soprano. Tolkas kept
singing flat. Uck!
I kissed Vaire. I like kissing
girls and singing to them. I
wonder if I would like taking over
the world too? Melkor says I
should wait till I'm bigger. Vaire
says she saw Melkor kissing
I also like big words. I kept
singing struff like "poststructuralism" and what not.
Aeon 2: Eru showed us the vision of
Ea today. It looked cool (agh, I hate that
word; I need to find something
posher). It's big and pretty. But it needs
some improvements, like more cute
females. I think wogah is a good
idea, though. But birdsong is kind
of boring and repetitive. I think I
can invent something better. In
fact, I'm writing an essay on improving
Ea for school.
Vaire keeps telling me naughty
stories. She says Oreo isn't Ollie's
son, but Melkor's, 'cause he and
Youwanna didn't stop at kissing. I'm
jealous of Melkor.
Tom Bombadil is such a dork. He
still plays with tinkertoys, and his
singing is even worse than Tolkas'.
Olófer is a jerk who keeps
knocking over my model towers.
Back to Sauron
Back to The Count's Palaxxo